Only in Hawaii, You Say?!? ... Pity!

As my time on the Island grows short I feel somewhat driven to attempt, by various means, to capture the spirit and meaning of my time here. OK “driven” is too strong a word as nothing, absolutely NOTHING ever seems to be driven by much urgency here, except perhaps the wailing sirens of the ambulances. It seems any time an ambulance is in motion, it is on urgent business as the sirens sounds even at 3:00AM when there is scant, if any traffic on the main drags.
Today is nearly as perfect a day as what one expects here, cloudless, except those kept at bay by the Koolau and Waianae ranges, calm breezes, really pleasant – unless of course you are trying to do any sort of manual labour in which case it would be miserable as the ambient humidity prevents sweat from evaporating to perform its cooling function. Anywhooo as I was walking to lunch, being Valentine’s day and all, my Valentine was treating ME, as I was walking to lunch I spied the neighbour’s koi ( a fancy name for “carp) and I was reminded of how unique Hawaii is in some respects. Now koi can be very, very valuable, depending on their markings and so on.. The neighbour has bought himself a child’s inflatable swimming pool, assembled a pump and stocked it with a number of quite pretty specimens. The larger of the koi are patterned while the fry resemble gold fish, REALLY resemble gold fish. Perhaps the patterning does not emerge until the fish mature. Maybe even, the patterns are something that the fish EARN if they escape being eaten by their pool mates? When I first arrived the pool bottom was clearly visible but that is not so now, as algae seems to be making serious inroads. I can’t help but wonder what a few months will bring … will the fish all have expired because of toxic, choking waters? Will the air-filled plastic/rubber sides of the pool be collapsed as a result of algae rot? Who knows!
Another unique feature of this place is the neighbourhood and beyond Thursday through Saturday swap. The county, it seems, has agreed that it is better for them to pick up large household items rather than have such things carted to the upcountry/back country and abandoned. A round-island trip reveals a number of abandoned autos, appliances and just junk, so the county’s decision is probably well founded. All manner of item can be seen on any given Friday afternoon and evening. The county, wanting to keep things somewhat tidy, admonish contributors to restrain themselves to Friday afternoon curbside deposit for Saturday morning removal. The more keen or ernest type start to haul stuff out Thursday … the less earnest seem to miss the point entirely and hual stuff curbside anytime, including Sunday – the Sunday deposit ensures maximum viewing and opportunity to disintegrate further as the week progresses.

As noted, discards can include televisions, lamps, stoves, refrigerators, couches, mattresses … anything. The “AS IS” really is “as is”. If you take away something it may work, may not, may electrocute you, may introduce a whole new variety of pests into your home. It is all an adventure. Certainly we have deposited a few things, like a storage bin whose bulk made it very unfriendly as a storage convenience; I think too, a lamp or two might have made it way to the reject pile. It is really kind of amusing, the “as is” thing in that I know back home, there was a huge “hue and cry” about the possibility of being held liable should something you sell at a garage sale cause harm to the purchaser – ironic given our southern neighbour’s propensity for legal action precipitated by injury, real or imagined!


The last thing I wish to note today, for those of you who have “stayed tune” is the bands around the trees. The aluminum rings about 8’ high are not to beautify. No, they are to prevent RATS from nesting in the tree tops and prevent them from climbing the trees to raid the nests of the birds who claim a home there. There is also some concern that rats would or might loosen the coconuts causing them to crash down randomly on the heads or cars of those in the vicinity of the palm. Every few years the county send out pruners to cut down the fruit and remove fronds that are nearing their shedding stage. These pruners are not to be mistaken for arbourists. They are rough men with kerchiefs tied around their neck, machetes, gloves and rubber boots. It is a dirty, hot job and should encourage any onlooker to stay in school at best, or at least, “don’t quit your day job”. I should add, I’ve never seen a rat here, never even evidence of its passing and perhaps the locals tell me these things just to alarm me, knowing that being of pale skin, a haole, I am easily intimidated by these and “other” things (not geckos though, I like geckos ‘cause they eat “other” things and are a sign of luck)!
So, now I am in serious count down stage and it is with pleasure that I watch the thermometer back home inch its way up from -30 wind-chill to a mere -14 degrees – it is still tough to compete with 28C … all of them above zero