Can't Have It

It's true ... ya can't have it both ways. This morning I got up late but I still want to do lots with the day. The ground and fields of late have been brown, yellow and uninviting; they are covered with snow today so look quite nice but SNOW!! I want to do lots 'n' lots ... I want to be well rested for work. I want to get my taxes in order, I want to recreate. I want to be slim and in shape; I want to eat stuff with fat, sugar, yummies and NOT exercise.

So it goes, I can't have it both ways and like a lot of things it is about tension(s). We need tension, more about that later, I'll leave with this illustration of useful "tension".

PW

Funny thing, I googled "Perfect World" ... don't believe it! Anyway, in a "Perfect World", I would get to the end of the week with the same amount of energy as my cats. Ah yes, the puddy cats, both of which stare at me from their perches while I'm trying to sleep in and ultimately, they win.

For a short week it has been long. My work was shut down on Monday which gave us a five day weekend which was most pleasant. The price tag of course is trying to fit five days of work into four days, no matter, it's SAT-ur-day.

Ms. Spook protested mightily alway to the Vet today on the way to get her nails trimmed. Her protests were only mildly reduced on the trip home as she chastised me for having the audacity to upset her little cat-world. However, all must be forgiven as she has been quite cosy here at home since the incident. Could it be that SHE, Spook, is willing to fall on a “cat sword” for her fellow feline and distract me from taking Precious into the Vet? The joke is on Spook, I’ve had enough of Vet trips for the day and Precious is safe until next week.

Today my “big-sister-the-artist” went off to a Trade Show (expo) called “National Women in Business”. It cost $8.00 to go in and we were there …. Ummm fifteen minutes, max. It was my invitation, too. Perhaps the very best part was the walk to the expo; it was brisk and of good length. There is not enough walking in my life and I’ll be darned if I can figure out, beyond pure laziness why I don’t do more of it. It is not like walking requires special equipment or some sort of preparation.

Ah well onward and forward, the cats call and wish to be amused.

Bad Timing ...

Consider my timing bad … on several levels. Today I had promised myself to “do something” about a number, of what I thought would be recipes, that had somehow slipped from a drawer into the cupboard under the drawer. OK, the somehow is easily explained in that I am … well, I am a recipe cutter-outer. When I read the daily paper if I see what I think might be an interesting recipe I cut it out, thinking I will make that “some day”. Sometimes I save a whole page or two of the paper, again, thinking someday … In all honesty, the ship has probably sailed on that one for at least a couple of reasons related to, I suppose, “bad timing” on my part.

The fact is, I have NO TIME to cook as at this point in my life I am working longer hours than ever before because I have a full time and a part time job. The full time job does not pay all that well, the part time job supports my filthy addiction to working in aviation. Secondly, most of the people I know are now at an age where “smaller” is better and simplest is best. Most of the people I know, who I might cook for or invite over for a meal, (another point, I’m not much of an “inviter”, either), are watching what they eat, digestive tracks, heck the alimentary tracks are fussy, pernickety and prone to inflicting sleepless nights and cranky days if not treated with the utmost of delicacy!

Although that IS my reality, denial is a strong force to deal with. At this time, I report to you, my recipe drawer, the one with the cut out articles and cards gleaned from various sources is neat! As a demonstration of my willingness to accept some truths, I DID toss a number of potions - I knew I wouldn’t attempt these even at the best of times, like the “South-west Black Bean Casserole” … not going to happen … period.

The other little point, well no, it is a HUGE point and deserves a separate blog entry, is the fact that I was supposed to clean one drawer/cupboard/closet per week according to my New Years Resolutions. Truthfully I’ve cleaned um … 11 of such things so according to my timing we are only around mid-March. Actually I’m quite stunned that I’m so close the actual date, as really, I’ve written on my “To Do” list “clean drawer” every day for ages and really only had 3 occasions when it happened. You see, I get ahead of the game because rarely do I just clean one drawer; one drawer leads to another and another in my world. The disadvantage to 3 sessions and 11 spaces is simple … I let myself get distracted from what I am supposed to be doing. Oh well, can’t win them all but it would be nice to at least get a chance at bat!

Thingys To Remember?

This past Good Friday I had the opportunity to have "my-sister-the-artist" over for chilli and tea. It was really kind of neat. I cannot count the times I've broken bread with her and her family and reciprocation is decidedly unequal ... but who's counting. There were a couple of neat things about this visit.

A few years ago I received, from my mother's estate, such as it was, a number of mismatched and incomplete items of china, including tea cups and saucers. The trove sat in boxes for a long, long time as there is yet to be an instrument developed that could measure the level of my indifference to fine china and silverware sorts of things, especially antique. Eventually guilt and the need to clean the garage forced me into opening and sorting the boxes and the contents truly were a trove; I've written in the past about this experience. One of the things I thought at the time of cleaning, cataloguing and placement in the curio cupboard was the idea that it would be soooo cool to have my “big-sister-the-artist” over for tea using the cups. Yah, great idea, as many are, time and tasks intervened until Good Friday.

It was truly cool to have tea with her out of mom’s cups and as well, just because I’m who I am, we had salad along with the chilli in garish orange plastic bowls. Yep, that’s just how things happen around here.

Seemless

There is no doubt that I am far, far more creative in the morning than at night. It seems by the end of the work day I am at MY end, too. In fact, as I write this there is a shadow of guilt in that I am not attending my usual WIA meeting - a first for me in that I have set all other things to the side to insure that I put in an appearance there. Not so this evening. Tomorrow I promised a potluck dish and no time to make it except tonight. As well I need to square away the house of papers and so on, period!

One of the things that I have wondered about in the morning is the nature of "time"; my curiosity about time sort of runs in the background. At one point I wondered if time was discreet, by that I mean like the seconds ticking away. "Second" was a real thing with beginning and an ending. Lately I moved away from that mostly because I could not figure out what was between the discreet seconds. For my purposes I now consider time as having an analogue quality. Time is simply continuous and seamless.



The way I treat time is, I think, sort of interesting. When I awake in the morning I note the time and order my day. Never again to I look at the clock nor do I ever hurry. It is what it is. This has added a lot to my serenity. For instance, if I were to look at a clock and discrern that I was going to be late for work I might be tempted to rush to get there … to what end? Nope, I just keep doing what I have to do, one foot in front of the other and doing the things that I need to do in order to get there. It really is much more pleasant than the panic of driving fast or hurrying tasks. I DO drive fast but it is only because I like to drive fast.

Yep, I sort of like the idea of seamless and unhurried. There is really not much a person can do about time. Perhaps we humans are the only creatures that are preoccupied with it, other creatures responding more to the urgency of tasks rather than time.

Its Been A Long, Long Time

There are a number of possible explanations for my absence ....perhaps this....

or this.....

or even this ....

The truth is much less entertaining. Basically a case of lots of ideas milling around and not much time to make any notes in my hand written journal, never mind arguing with a snarly computer which finally had a massive hard drive failure a couple of weeks ago.

The job still entertains me enormously, I still like planes and bits and pieces of planes but I've not flown as PIC for a long time. My medical is not current as there was much competition for the dollars involved in getting a PFT so it went by the boards. There is a sort of promise to myself to rectify that situation and I DO notice that my attention to my health in genral has declined since I no longer have to adhere to aviaiton medical standards. The furry girls in my home still have much of my attention and it is a constant game to try to outwit them when it comes time to have nails trimmed.

At the moment I suspect I am writing for myself which is OK although admittedly the reason I started blogging was because a friend had a blog and the only way I was allowed to make comments (at the time) was to be a blogger. Funny thing, all that changed.

Anywhoo... I'd like to devote more time to writing so that a mind like this:

becomes like this .....